20 August 2008.

wave goodbye to all my frens .

i'm leaving for thailand . how sad >.< ...

look forward to every tmr from tmr onwards =) !

till the day i come back ...

byebye ...

{ 10:35 PM }

19 August 2008.

my pc say i'm a person with no worries . everytime i look so relax .

i look so relax becos i dun think by putting in my maximum effort , the work i did will be recognised . so i jus do the minimum . as for no worries , he is damn wrong . haha . i worry alot .

liling say i'm a jovial person in real life , and very emo in virtual world .

i look so happy becos i believe i shouldn't let my own feelings affect the others . by bringing my happy side out , i get to enjoy myself , then settle the trouble later . she is not very right though . i'm emo in nature . but i always look on the bright side of life .

我逆着光 , 即使痛得刺眼 , 却看见了 ...

{ 8:52 PM }

18 August 2008.

jealousy is the curse for tolerance .



i think i'm losing this battle .

this time round the demon has the upper hand over the angel .

i'm worn out and i can feel that my breathing has become quite heavy .

something is damn damn wrong and i knew what is it . yet i can summon no strength this time round . the demon knew my pattern of coping and he successfully suppressed that .

i need some powerful jolt to come back to reality from the abyss of shit that i'm in now .



peace from within , i seek .

{ 3:06 PM }

16 August 2008.

when i was small , i had this thinking that dreams are actually images and events that are waiting to happen . that is what i heard from old folks .

now , i think dreams are all so fake . they can be manipulated .

yest i went to sleep , thinking very hard what actually had happened in the morning . and when i went into lala land , i dreamed of her . but the dream is a total reversal of what is in reality . it depicts her as coming from a poor family =.=" .

what i'm trying to say is , if u want nice dreams , just think hard of what u want to dream of and then try to enter lala land asap . it works for me . for the rest , i dunnoe . haha ...



chalet last week was soso lah . at least i can say it's a notch better than those that i've gone in the past . people go watch movie , play lan , go clubbing . me ? i stayed back to play mahjong , play fatal frame . very happening hoh =.=" . we also played frisbee , football at the open area and it was fun .

chalets are supposed to consist of such fun events de mah . that's why i quite enjoy myself . we even rented bicycles and cycled to visit ghostly places like red house , old changi hospital . hair will really stand becos these places are freaking errie , even when we are in a big group of 17 .

the road leading up to och has no light . there's only faint moonlight that pass through the thick canopy and light sticks for us . i swear that u wun want to go up on a moonless night . the surrounding buildings are full of windows . who knows if we are being tracked by ... arhem ... ' them ' ?

the road leads to a 2storey building . we did not go in becos it's the 7th mth and ... ya ... then we turned back to continue cyling towards changi village to see ah gua . haha ... saw one ' modified ' until very feminine de got onto a car . lols ... my pc say he cant imagine . so disgusting . haha ...

went back after that to sleep . all i can say is ... it has been a long time that i cycle such a long distance . somehow the shiokness is back . wahaha ...

{ 9:06 PM }

why huh ?

why why why ?

why issit so that today all of a sudden , i felt my heart miss a beat . and after that , it became very heavy ?

i saw a figure standing at a very far distance when i was on mrt . i couldn't confirm who she was but yet , this very person came right up my mind , together with the heavy heart . my vision from afar is always not very good and i hope i see the wrong person . but still , why so suddenly that i thought of her ?

why issit so that i always think the unthinkable ? last time when i had those thoughts , my brain will straight away brush them off , but why not now ?

why issit so that i bother to do all these things ? i shouldn't be the one doing . i felt like i'm now stucked in quick sand . i try to get out , yet sink deeper .

trillions of whys are flying in my head now . i need to think them out thoroughly . i need some off time ...

{ 12:37 AM }

06 August 2008.

fire was raging in my head when i was called to go back to camp . arghhh !

i made so much calls and smses to get people to watch mummy3 together .

in the end they went ahead while i dragged my feet back to camp =.=" .

damn those eat full nothing better to do de lao uncle . the buildings are so old , even older than u . how clean do u expect us to clean them up ? wake up to your idea lah !

now how do i watch mummy3 ? alone ? ya i will , and u shall now go kneel before buddha and repent before i unleash the tens of thousands de terracotta army to deal with u . mwahaha ... ohhh i'm sort of crazy . lols ...

i've cleared my physical , shooting and obstacle course for my 2nd year . woots ! nv expected to clear the obstacle course on just my first try . i've been slacking around for quite some times and it's really a surprise . 2 more test to go before i can relax for the rest of my ns ... hehehe !

{ 9:00 PM }